If anyone has ever turned you down when you have asked for a dance at a milonga - without an explanation - you will have experienced some reaction... maybe it was 'what have I done?' 'don't they consider I'm good enough for them?' 'don't they want to be seen dancing with me?' it will be something that voice your feelings of inadequacy - as a dancer and perhaps also as a person. I rarely ask a man to dance, not because I fear rejection (though I do) , but because I get a real buzz out of being asked. This of course can mean that I often sit out much more than I would like to - even though I consider myself quite sociable.
Recently a male dancer I am close to was rejected by a younger woman dancer, someone who, up until then had been quite friendly. No reason given, just 'no thank you'. He was quite taken aback though this is not the first time he has been refused in the 8plus years he has been dancing - and more taken aback by the abruptness of the answer I think, than the actual refusal.
He confided in me that he will probably never ask this person to dance again - maybe that is what she wanted, he will never know. But if it wasn't then perhaps a short explanation (even a white lie) would have been kinder... what do you think?
Sometime I think that we all take tango too seriously, and sometimes I think it becomes more like playground politics than a friendly social gathering of people who enjoy the same music and culture.